Back To Work

I often worry about over-reflection.

I think most of the people in my life worry about the same problem.  Not so much “over-reflection” on their part.  No, rather, I think most of my loved ones and close friends worry about the deep places I go to during these times of reflection.

They worry about my over-reflection.

I suppose that’s why I refer to it as “over-reflection” rather than simply “reflection”.

This also happens to be the reason I don’t take pain medications anymore.

I’ve been tired, sore, groggy, busy, bored, uninspired…physical therapy sessions will do that.  At least this is temporary.  At least I’m not facing surgery again.

An old injury flairs up and I become almost worthless.  At least I caught up a little on my Hulu and Netflix?

Back to work!

Ordinary Artist

Learning to accept myself

That’s something I’ve struggled with; as an artist, an individual, a husband, and a father.

But why is that important?  What makes this “acceptance” so important to me (or to you for that matter)?

The myth

There’s a myth about art and artists that’s been floating around forever.  Art takes talent.  Talent?  Like some mystical insight into the world that is only bestowed upon a few lucky/unlucky individuals.

The truth

Art really only requires a focused learning of acceptance of oneself.  That’s it.  Nothing magical about that at all.  Not really anyway.  It’s discipline, hard work, and perseverance that makes someone an artist.

And these traits are either nurtured or condemned by those who would surround an artist in their daily lives.  The most important influencer, of course, is the artist him/herself.

We are all ordinary.

And while I’d like to think of myself as extraordinary the simple truth is that I’m not.

I may be unique.  I have a unique set of characteristics and traits that allow/force me to work in the art realm.  These traits, while seen as weaknesses or strengths (pick your poison), are really just a different set of traits than anyone else but no more special/better/worse.

There is a trait, inherent in my persona, that forces me to try every attempt to overcome obstacles.  This trait doesn’t allow me to think in terms that I’m doing the best right now at any given particular task.  I’m forced to look back at past projects and contemplate what I did right and wrong all while simultaneously looking forward to the next task at hand.  How can I use the knowledge and skills gained to better overcome the next hurdle/task/project?  While this sounds like a very positive trait the truth is that it can paralyze me just as easily.

The act of making art somehow engages a profoundly accurate feedback loop of information about what I intended to accomplish and what I actually accomplished.  I either don’t meet my own expectations or I exceed them.  Meet them?  I’ve given up on that I think.  Or I’m lying to myself.

It’s the process

That’s really what making art is about right?  The process.

Here’s something to think about.  Everyone cares about the product.  The finished work.  The print.  Everyone, that is, except the artist.

To me what really matters, I mean when I’m not trying to make a buck off this “talent”, is the process.  Sometimes I sell work sometimes I don’t.  That doesn’t stop me from creating.  Nor should it.  All along, the more I contemplate this, I realize that it was always about the process.

What am I learning about myself through this process of creating?  That’s what’s really important.

I’m finally getting to a point where I can confidently say I don’t care what anyone thinks about my finished work.

Self delusion or self defense?

Perhaps it’s easier this way?

The real questions

If I’m only making art for myself does that somehow equate the finished art to the finished self?  The flawed art to the flawed self?  The successful art to the successful self?  What about when I’m not making art?  Does that mean, somehow, that when there is no process of creating art there is no self?

Asking Too Much

Do you critique art?

You know…in your spare time?  When you’re just casually looking?

It’s something I feel I need to explore as an avenue to better understand photographs and art.

The critical process.

I have to admit something:

I used to be scared of critics.

Perhaps I still am, but I’m getting over that as rejections come in more and more. It’s growing pains. *shrugs*

I used to equate criticism in such a negative light. Judgments. Negative Judgments. Expressions of disapproval.

It’s sort of the opposite of when you post an image to Flickr and you get comments like “Brilliant!” or “lovely”. Not that those are bad, per se, I mean, I could always use the ego-boost that those friendly faces provide.

Those snippets of brief approval only provide minimal value, though, when I’m trying to grow as an artist.

I’m thinking I need to actively ask for critiques on the images I post.

Most people won’t do it.

Maybe it’s just a matter of asking them to tell me how the image makes them feel or think?

Maybe that’s asking too much.

It’s how I need to portray my thoughts about other people’s photographs.  I need to actively think about how those images make me feel and what they make me think.  I need to exercise that part of the brain that forces me to confront the emotion of art.  If I took the time to stop and actually look at a photograph I need to take the time to listen to it as well.

I want my words to live and to breathe.

Maybe I’m asking too much of myself?

Everyone Hates Your Art!

There is a lot of really great art out in the world.

There is also a lot of really crappy art.

So how do you know if your art is any good, or great?

One tip:

Everyone hates your art!

No really.  They do.  Regardless of how much you think your idea, your art, your passion is great, there will be more people that hate your art than people who love it.

That’s when you know it just might be great.

This seems especially true if your art is controversial or “not normal”.

And normal is boring.

BORING

And who wants boring anyway?

Boring doesn’t create good art.  Boring doesn’t tell a compelling story.  Boring is where everyone else lives.  Boring is the art that everyone else creates that doesn’t say anything to you.

There’s also this sort of sad fact that those closest to you; your friends, your family, your colleagues, your peers, they may not want you to actually succeed.

Because the truth, that most artists would never admit, is that success would change you.

IT WOULD CHANGE YOU!

Maybe that change would be good or maybe it would be bad.  But it would be change you nonetheless and, as a general rule, most people also hate change.

It removes predictability and throws people’s lives in directions that, quite frankly, most people are not prepared for.

So screw ‘em.

Make art that everyone hates!

The Difficulty of Making Art

Making art can become dishearteningly difficult.

These “difficulties” can often paralyze artists or send them into a downward spiral of un-creativity or inactivity with no foreseeable end.

So how do we overcome this?  How does art get done in the first place?

I ask myself these questions often because I’ll find myself not “finishing” pieces or series.  I’ve got a hard drive with terabytes of images that need second and third looks.  I’ve got folders and “albums” in my image editing library that should be done with test prints made and uploaded to my online gallery.

As a visual and thinking type, I often find that the images, or artwork, that I haven’t quite completed may better than what I do have finished, even if it’s all just in my head.

While this may be a case of being “my own worst critic” it’s certainly possible that I struggle with a different set of difficulties that prevent me from completing my works.

This isn’t about distractions.  I’m increasingly becoming better at avoiding those.

Perhaps it’s because I struggle with that common fear that almost all artists struggle with: No one cares!

Okay…that’s putting it very simply.  But there’s truth behind those thoughts.

Consider that today, working as an artist, means living in a world filled with doubt and contradiction.  It means doing something that no one really cares whether you do it or not.  It means creating work that may or may not have an audience and may or may not have any reward.

So I set aside, inasmuch as I can, these doubts so that I can see, not only what I’ve done, but that the path that I’m headed has some sort of fruit to bear.

It means I have to find, however hard it may be, the self nourishment and fulfillment within the work itself.

Sometimes…this is a cat and mouse game.  I’m just not sure if I’m supposed to be the cat or the mouse.

Exploring Online Art Communities

I’ve joined a few Artist communities in the past in an effort to connect and share my work.

It’s been rewarding at times. I’ve met several people in the past whom I’ve grown rather fond of.

That said…as I’ve worked hard on my own sites I’ve left some of those communities by the wayside. Perhaps it was a matter of stretching myself too thin across too many platforms, or perhaps it was a matter of not feeling like I could contribute “enough” if I wasn’t present enough.

Either way I’ve decided to explore this avenue of community and networking within the art communities and see if I can, once again, contribute to the online art movement.

I suppose it would be easy to say that it’s all part of the “master plan” of promoting my work but I think I need to approach it in a different way this go around.

In the past it was all about sharing my work, getting my stuff seen, but this time, I’ll work on this website with more focus.

In conversations I’ve had with a few people I’ve been told, in kind words, that perhaps I’m a better curator than an artist. Maybe better isn’t the right word for it. It’s possible that my “giving nature” is what makes me enjoy sharing other artists’ work.

I do that often on my photography tutorials blog, but really haven’t done that much on this blog, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past three years of blogging it’s this: People appreciate giving more than asking.

While this space has been a place for me to share my art and my photography, as well as my occasional off topic ramblings, I will now venture into showing off artwork from other artists and talking more about art and photography in general.

So what are some of the better online art communities out there on the Interwebs?  What makes them so special?  Where are the best art conversations taking place?

Reaching

How much of what we do as artists is “reaching”?

I happen to think that the answer is quite a bit.  Or rather…way too much?

One might think that the real question should be: What are we “reaching” for?

As artists we tend to be introspective or perhaps retrospective.  I suppose it just means we are, in one shape or another, looking at some sort of perspective.  Whether it’s our own perspective or it’s an attempt at twisting the viewer’s perspective seems irrelevant to me right now.

In fact, the question at hand, “What are we reaching for?” is irrelevant to me right now.

I personally don’t care what you’re reaching for.  Nor, do I think, should you care what I’m reaching for, insofar as some convoluted or self prescribed perspective is concerned.

Truthfully, if you’re reaching for some predetermined outcome, or outcry, from me, when I see your art, you’re going to be sadly disappointed.  The same is going to be true for me.  If I, somehow, after battling my own low self worth as an artist, delusion myself into thinking that you’ll perceive what I want you to perceive when you look at my art…I’m going to be sadly disappointed.  It’s happened before and it’ll happen again.

The question that I’m most concerned with right now is WHY…why are we “reaching”?

I mean…is it drive?  Is there some “thing” that drives artists to create?

Why?

So that one day…after one of my photographs or paintings is sitting in some collector’s home that a critic or collector or curator or whomever will prove that I, a brilliant and poignant photographer, had a good eye for irony and hypocrisy, or composition, or juxtaposition, or whatever…

Crap.  It’s all crap.

Yet tomorrow…just like today…something will compel me (perhaps even drive me) to “reach” for some way to connect with my viewers/future collectors…whatever.